Got a toothbrush?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
