I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
