the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
