I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
