Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
