dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
