whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
