I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
