You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Randomize
