where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
