You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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