so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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