We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
