Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
