So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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