I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We left the knife in your bed.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
