Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
