Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
