We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize