Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
