do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
