We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
