Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize