Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
