Plan B is the new Plan A
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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