Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
