speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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