i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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