I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
