i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
