I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize