Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
