is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
