He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He felt like a one man threesome
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
