I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
