The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
