My sheets look like a crime scene.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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