Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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