i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
