So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
