some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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