No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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