Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
