TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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