Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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