If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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