just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
3pm strippers are depressing
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
