I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
