i don't like sucking hair
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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