oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
