Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
