dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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