TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
