Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
