Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it was like eating out sand paper
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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