fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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