you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
