It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
