I seem to have left my pride at pride
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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