I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
