After last night, I could never be a politician.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
