I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
