why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
