Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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