Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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