Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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