its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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