I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
