I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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