What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
