Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
