just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
