I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
