so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
